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Post by Jake Masello on May 9, 2010 22:05:16 GMT 1
It had been a rough few months for Jake. Tons of things had happened, privately of course because he wasn't one to share his goings on to just anyone. With his freak out on Ashley, Jake had pretty much lost his one true friend at Hogwarts, and he'd reverted back into the being the bookworm and quite guy he was before. While on break he tried to date someone he met, but it didn't work out. It wasn't right when all he could think about was the blond with adorable puppy dog eyes.
So here he was, sitting under the large tree in the courtyard at Hogwarts, studying for a non existent exam while he practiced spells randomly just because he had nothing better to do. A swish and a flick for a simple spell he learned his first year made his stack of books rise up a few feet from the ground in front of him. A slight smile crossed his face, amused since that was one of the spells he could get without speaking the incantation out loud, but could mumble instead and still get a strong reaction. As he watched the books float, a flash of color in his peripheral vision caught his attention and when he saw where it came from, or who rather, he lost the concentration on the spell and the large books crashed to the ground, a few hitting his legs and one even whacking him on the head causing him to yell in pain and surprise.
"OW!" It was something that seemed to echo since there were only a few others out and about on the cool spring day, and not surprisingly it caused the girls there to look at him and laugh because of the nerd's clumsiness. While rubbing his noggin he looked over at the boy who'd just emerged from the castle. Ashley. Jake's chest tightened a little, and he quickly looked away since he was too embarrassed to talk to him and was afraid he'd say something wrong because of Ashley's new boyfriend he'd heard about that made him awfully jealous.
[ooc: lol i guess Ash can come investigate or something.. XD]
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Post by Ashley O'Neill on May 13, 2010 19:29:47 GMT 1
Ash wasn't going to lie. He missed Jake. He missed how easy things used to be, though in hindsight, all of that might have just been in his mind. He genuinely thought they'd been more than friends, that their little thing in Hogsmeade had been a date, but when he'd tried kissing him (a foolish move, he'd later admit), Jake had freaked out on him. There'd been yelling and flailing and generally all things bad had happened. He didn't think they'd said more than hello afterwards, if even that.
During the christmas holidays, he'd gotten back in touch with Kyle, his ex-boyfriend. He'd found him on facebook, an internet site, and had added him on a whim. Turns out that just before the accident he'd told him to stay away from him, never contact him again. Ash couldn't remember, but when Kyle admitted he'd cheated on him, he realised that it sounded plausible. Long story short, they were trying now. It was nice, having a bit of history to fall back on. Someone who'd known his parents. Of course, long distance was hard, especially when he had times where all he wanted was a hug, but they managed.
Wheeling himself over the grass, he passed Jake by without acknowledging him, doing things the way they'd been done for the past couple of months. This time, however, a book was in the way. He hadn't seen it but his wheelchair got stuck behind it, making an unpredicted move that sent him flying from the chair. Ash ended up faceplanted in the grass, his legs twisted oddly below him, the chair halfway toppled over him. Groaning, he tried to push himself up. Wonderful.
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Post by Jake Masello on May 13, 2010 19:51:19 GMT 1
Classy. That was the only thought to run through Jake's head as he scrambled a bit to pick up the books that had scattered in the grass around him. He'd thought he had them all but didn't realize he was missing one that was rather large and heavy until it was too late. He almost reached out in front of Ash to snatch it out of his way just so the wheel chair didn't get caught but instead he watched, in what he thought was almost like slow motion as the wheels got stuck and Ash spilled out into the grass. Crap. Not so classy.
Seeing his legs twisted oddly made Jake's own legs ache a little, but he got up anyway and quickly moved over to help the Hufflepuff. "I'm really.. really sorry about that" he apologized softly, pulling the chair off of him and he set it upright again. "Let me help?" It was more of a request than anything because he didn't want to go over his boundries and just man handle Ash back into the chair without his help being wanted. He crouched down to help Ash if he accepted, waiting nervously to do so. His chest was still tight and he grabbed the offending book to toss it over into his pile next to the tree's trunk. As weird as it sounded, he hoped Ash let him help him up because he'd missed touching the blond. No sexual theme about it when they did touch before, at least not on Jake's part, but just having someone close like that left a hole when things went south for the wrong reasons.
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Post by Ashley O'Neill on May 13, 2010 20:00:13 GMT 1
Ashley felt like uttering a string of cursewords when he heard Jake's voice close to his ear. Of course now the boy had to act polite and help him up. He'd fucking ignored him for the better part of three months, and now he was being all goody-two-shoes, trying to make amends? The blonde grimaced at his own train of thoughts, knowing that he was being vindictive and hating it. Good had come of this, hadn't it? If he'd stayed friends with Jake, he'd been hung up on him still, and he wouldn't have Kyle.
See, there was that positive thinking that his parents used to love about him. Forcing a smile on his grassed features, he twisted his head a little to glance at Jake. "I'd appreciate it" He just hoped his wheelchair was okay, because he had a feeling this would be an awkward encounter otherwise. Having to sit with someone who, last time he'd seen him, yelled something like 'I'll never be gay so stop trying to make me your boyfriend' (he couldn't recall the words, but that's what the message had boiled down to) was not his idea of a good time.
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Post by Jake Masello on May 13, 2010 20:12:38 GMT 1
His mind was racing with different ways this scenario could play out. Ash could tell him to go to hell or shove something where the sun doesn't shine, he could fake smile and get up then leave as quickly as he tripped over the leather bound book, or by some slim chance, they could actually talk and Jake might find his balls to apologize. Confessing anything else at this point in time wasn't going to happen and was useless anyway since the other was taken.
Letting the breath he'd been holding out, he nodded a little when Ash gave him the go-ahead and he pulled him up from the grass into a sitting position, even helping him move his legs normally so that he could sit up. When he looked at the wheelchair he silently cursed. One of the wheels was bent up and it was sitting lopsided. "I'll fix that for you..doesn't look very drivable at the moment" he was kind of grateful that something had happened to the chair, otherwise Ash would have already been across the lawn without a look back. While he dug the wand out of his bag he chewed on his lip nervously since he wanted to apologize but was getting the feeling it would fall on deaf ears.
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Post by Ashley O'Neill on May 13, 2010 20:25:55 GMT 1
Ashley moved himself so that his back was leaning against the tree trunk, his legs stretched out in front of him. Rubbing them softly, he wished that he could feel something for the umpteenth time since the accident. Every week that went by without any feeling whatsoever made him worry more and more. The doctors kept telling him that he should be patient, but he'd heard them muttering when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It was bad. Chances were pretty big he wouldn't ever be walking again.
"Thanks" He mumbled it softly, glancing at the boy who was kneeling next to his wheelchair. Ash's eyes were wistful, the look on his face soft. He knew that Jake was a good guy, that he wasn't some kind of homophobic prick. He'd never acted like it before, knowing that Ash fancied men. Trouble hadn't started until he'd crushed on him, and he was hoping that now, him having a boyfriend, things would change.
But they only would if Jake started the conversation, because he was the one who'd sent Ashley away. It wasn't his place to ask for forgiveness and a chance to rebuild their friendship. As much as he wanted to be friends again and joke about the whole terrible ordeal their 'date' had been, they had a long way to go.
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Post by Jake Masello on May 13, 2010 20:53:05 GMT 1
He nodded at the thanks. He was glad Ash was continuing to let him help because the longer they were close, the more he felt like a grade A jerk. He looked over at him for a moment before he started murmuring spells to fix the metal heap. It was going to take him a few minutes to get it right since he hadn't fixed a muggle contraption in a while.
Jake kept almost apologizing every time he saw Ash out of the corner of his eye, but his mouth didn't open. Two words. That's all he had to start with. His mouth was being stubborn even though his brain was threatening with cutting out his own tongue in a feigned attempt to get it to work. Finally when he was working on getting the wheel straightened out he stopped and sighed. "Ashley.. I'm really sorry for being such an idiot and a jerk to you in Hogsmeade." It surprised him since he wasn't planning on saying all that, but it was the truth. He lifted his head to look at him, and into the brown eyes so Ash knew he was being sincere. "I..don't expect your forgiveness, but I want you to know that I'm sorry for all that. It was uncalled for on so many levels."
Well.. not the best or brightest apology but it was a start.
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Post by Ashley O'Neill on May 13, 2010 21:06:37 GMT 1
Ashley just sat there in silence for a moment, letting the apology sink in. He'd hoped for it, a long time ago, but he'd finally come to terms with the fact that Jake would rather be alone at Hogwarts than be his friend. It had hurt, not even being good enough to hang out with the older male, but he'd managed with the help of his real friends. It didn't make seeing him, or hearing this apology, any easier though.
"Yeah, it was." Uncalled for, that was. It really had been, despite the Hufflepuffs attempt to kiss him. Ashley sighed, running fingers through his blonde hair. It had been cut by one of his best friends, a voluptuous girl named Callie. She kept calling him her sunshine (or sparkles, when was in one of her more 'annoying' moods), and he aimed to be just that. "But I was out of line too. I guess I just had myself convinced that there was something between us...more than friendship, I mean."
He didn't particularly want to talk about it right now, but it was something that needed to be said. "I liked you. A lot. It's not just that you were kind to me and helped me with everything. You're a great guy. Anyway, the thing is, it's not like that anymore. I'm with Kyle now. He's sweet to me. And...well, I guess what I'm saying is that if you wanted to, we could try and be friends."
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Post by Jake Masello on May 13, 2010 21:34:29 GMT 1
He was hoping for an acceptance, and was glad to get one but he wasn't expecting to hear him apologize as well. It was kind of nice, but he didn't feel like he needed or deserved one since he knew with the way he'd been acting that he was giving off the signals for Ash to make a move since he was too chicken to. His hand twitched whenever Ash ran his own through the blond locks and he twirled his wand around instead to have something to do with them.
"You don't need to apologize. I know I was.. confusing, and sending out really mixed up signals. It's my fault" he shifted to sit on his behind instead of his knees, somewhat closer to Ash since he wasn't really wanting him to leave just yet. He was between the blond and his chair, so without really meaning to he was preventing an escape anyway, but they needed to talk. At least a little before they parted ways again.
Jake opened his mouth to reply to the 'more than friendship' part but when Ash pushed on and laid it out he quickly bit back the reply and nodded his head. "Kyle, huh? I heard you were with someone..but didn't know who" he murmured, knowing who that was and he hoped that things worked out better and Kyle didn't leave him hanging as he had before after the accident. "You're a great guy too..and.. well.." he trailed off for a moment, "I miss you. Hanging out with you because you're pretty much the only person here to give me a chance to be a friend. I'd like to try and be friends if you're up for it.." he looked up at his face again, definitely wanting more than to just be a friend to Ashley, but he wasn't going to jump into that because of everything he'd done. He still needed to get out of the hole he dug first.
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Post by Ashley O'Neill on May 13, 2010 22:10:06 GMT 1
So he admitted he had been sending out mixed signals. The part of Ashleys heart that had always continued to insist there was something there leaped up in joy, but he quickly squashed it down. It didn't matter. He was with Kyle now, and the best thing he could hope for was that he and Jake could become friends. The apology was a good start, but they had a long ways to go.
"I miss you too. I've got my circle of friends but there's a Jake-shaped hole...I'd like you to fill it." God was he corny or what? Ashley grimaced at himself, before smiling at the other. "You heard I was dating? Wow, is this school gossiping or what..." He shook his head a little, playing with the grass at his legs. "Yeah I sort of...figured out where things went wrong with me and Kyle. I didn't remember the weeks before the accident, so I didn't remember I'd broken up with him. When I got back in touch with him he said he'd wanted to write to me but didn't want to make things harder because I already had so much on my mind.."
He supposed it was kind of sweet. They had made plans for Kyle to come over soon, but as their next holiday wasn't until the end of February, they still had a while to go before the two lovers could be reunited.
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Post by Jake Masello on May 13, 2010 23:54:20 GMT 1
Ash missed him. Jake's smile got a little wider from that since it made him feel a little better. He laughed softly at the 'jake-shaped hole' reference, it was corny but kind of adorable as well. It was totally Ash and he'd take what he could get now. "Yeah I might have asked around out of curiosity, but you know, word travels here" he shrugged a shoulder slightly before listening to his explanation about Kyle.
He tilted his head some, surprised that Ash had done the breaking up but he knew he didn't remember the weeks before the accident. "Can I ask why you broke up with him in the first place? Did something happen?" he was curious, it made him think that if there was a reason maybe Kyle was lying about it if he'd something horrible to hurt Ash just to get back with him. Of course he could be jumping to conclusions too. Jealousy made people think bad things about strangers sometimes.
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Post by Ashley O'Neill on May 14, 2010 0:03:54 GMT 1
He smiled in surprise when Jake said he might've asked around about him. That was...well it was equal parts cute and just slightly strange, as well. He couldn't really care though, he was too happy that Jake seemed genuine about wanting to be friends again. He'd think no further than that, he'd learned from last time - assuming made an ass out of him. It'd lead to him getting his heart broken and he wasn't quite sure it had healed to begin with.
"Yea...something happened" He answered vaguely, frowning when he thought of their phone conversation. It was difficult, not knowing what was true and what wasn't. He just figured he should believe his boyfriend. He could try to get in touch with his other friends, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. People who hadn't bothered to contact him after the accident...were they really his friends?
Sighing, he pulled one leg up to his chest, wrapping arms around it to hold it in place. "He cheated on me, apparently. It wasn't sex or anything, but he got it on with some boy I hated at school. Turns out he was drunk, but I never gave him a chance to explain. I dumped him and a couple of days later the accident happened.."
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Post by Jake Masello on May 18, 2010 5:23:54 GMT 1
Jake thought he was being a little awkward, saying that he asked about a guy he'd flipped on about not being gay and then he was snooping for information about him at a later time. Crazy wizard. He stopped his mind-ramblings when Ash started to explain that something had happened. Cheating was never a crime that Jake could put up with. The few girls he had dated had cheated on him because he wasn't enough for them, so he wasn't able to think that cheating was okay on any level, let alone to get back with the person.
"Wow.. that's intense." he finally murmured, not sure what to say without letting his thoughts out but he had no right to do that so he just said what he could that was mostly neutral. "For you both, him not being able to explain and you not being able to remember. Guess.. I guess it all worked out, huh?" he had a slight smile on his face when he said that, but it didn't reach his eyes because he didn't want that to be what worked out for Ash even if he deserved it. Jake wanted a chance too..he didn't have these feelings for any other guy. It was always Ash.
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