How You Remind Me Of What I Really Am [Reese]

[Graham Kerr]

For the better part of a week now, Gray had been avoiding all his friends. He'd been around Nathan for a bit, but that was about the only one who could count on him to be around these days, and he was fairly sure that the Slytherin was none too pleased with that. Well tough luck to his fellow werewolf, as Graham desperately needed someone who understood what it was he was going through. He had avoided Mickey most of all, quickly waving hello in the hallways before darting into another corridor. Although he felt horrible about this, there was one person he hated avoiding most of all.

And not just because she'd slap him silly once she saw him, but because he genuinely missed and needed her through these tough days. This was far worse than anything he'd dealt with on his own, and even with those now seemingly minor things he'd never been able to get through it without his Reese. So he needed to talk to her, needed to explain without her freaking out too much. Or so he hoped.

He'd sent her a note, providing her with the Prefects Bathroom password and hoping that she'd come to meet him after a good soak. It was something that relaxed him, and something that showed the marks on his body, giving him a good reason to get through this conversation rather than chickening out.

[Reese Mackenzie]

During the first three days of Gray avoiding her, she’d been annoyed. Now, seven days later, Reese was getting pissed off when this morning he’d brushed passed her without saying one word. AGAIN. Not even a ‘good morning’ or a friendly smile seemed something he was able to give her. Or wanted to giver her for that matter. Reese knew how Graham operated. When something was up he would close off and shut people out. That was nothing new but he had never avoided her like this before. At first she’d tried to get his attention but even at moments when she knew he would have heard/seen her he would have pretended like she wasn’t there.

Well Graham could forget it then. She was so not running after him for his attention. If he didn’t want to talk to her or acknowledge her presence than he could just go fuck himself. He knew that she knew something was going on with him. Reese always knew. But he also knew that she would never force him into telling her what was going on. Even if she tried to be angry with him she felt moreso hurt and worried. Well if this is what he wanted than he could have it. But when she got his note she wasn’t able to tear it up and pretend she never got it.

Course she couldn’t. This was Graham. So on this early evening, right after dinner, Reese had changed into her muggle clothes –jeans, boots and a black sweater- and made her way to the prefects bathroom. As the door opened the steam coming from the hot bath made her feel like she was trapped inside of a giant mist. When it settled a few seconds later she took of her boots and socks, put them by the door as it closed, and made her way into the giant room.

The moment Reese laid her eyes on a swimming Graham she folded her arms over her chest and waited in silence. With narrowed eyes and a expression on her face that clearly showed she was angry, Reese waited for Graham to notice her.

[Graham Kerr]

He knew, even before laying eyes on her, that she was pissed off. And she had good reason to. Gray knew that there was little he could say, aside from the obvious, that would make her forgive him just like that, but at least she'd shown up. Pushing himself up at the side of the pool, he emerged from the water in nothing but his swimming trunks, knowing that the marks, although having faded a bit, were still very much visible.

"Hey" His voice was soft as he approached her carefully, not wanting to be on the receiving end of her physical anger. Her silent treatment was bad enough, but being hit by a girl wasn't something he would boast about - and she hit HARD. Again, he very much deserved it, but what on earth could he have done differently? He'd needed time to get through this on his own, and he hoped that she would understand once he told her.

The difficult thing was actually taking that step and telling her. Graham waited in silence for a moment, hoping she'd see the marks and ask, but as time ticked on, he bit his lip and decided that maybe she deserved more than this. More than this silent treatment that he hadn't meant to give her in the first place.

Taking a deep breath, he fidgeted with the cords on his swimming gear for a moment, before locking eyes with her. "I'm sorry that I ignored you...There was something I needed to deal with. Before I could talk to you. And I know that it's probably not going to make a great deal of difference, but I wanted you to know...you're the only person who knows. The only one that I'll tell." Deep breath. Pause. "I got bit. By a werewolf." Another pause. Chaos?

[Reese Mackenzie]

She wasn’t taking this crap from anyone. Especially not from Graham. Reese loved the guy to death and getting treated by him this way seriously hurt. There was no way this going to be forgotten and forgiven just like that. He had some major grovelling to do! Jerk. While those thoughts ran through her mind Reese looked away when for a moment she’d locked eyes with the huffle. She almost felt like tapping her feet as he emerged from the water and came towards her. Only that looked ridiculous when you weren’t wearing shoes, so instead she just narrowed her eyes and stared to the opposite wall of the room.

Reese just snorted when he ‘hey’d’ her. Right. Now he felt the need to greet her? She still refused to look at him and decided to giving him the cold shoulder for a while. At least for a little bit considering that was only fair since he had been doing that to her all frigging week! Her lips were pressed into two fine lines and she was biting the inside of her cheek hard to refrain from yelling. She wanted to though, yell in his face, but she knew that not saying anything was in Grahams eyes a faith much worse.

For a second Reese glanced from the corner of her eyes towards Gray, but when she locked eyes with him she instantly looked away again. Which would have gone much more smoother if she didn’t need to actually tilt her head a little to the side to be able to see his face. Why the hell did he have to be so tall for?! Reese didn’t respond to his apology nor to the whole explanation that followed. Course he was dealing with something that she couldn’t know straight away about…and whatever. It wasn’t the first time she’d been given this speech. He really should come up with something new.

Yet her head instantly jerked back, her eyes growing larger while locking with his and the anger in her face made way for surprise when the word ‘werewolf’ left his lips. “You were what?!” she snapped at him. Honestly, she’d been expecting a whole set of things but nothing came close to this. For a moment Reese just stared at him while all kinds of emotions ran over her face: horror, anger, surprise, shock, sadness. Her original anger had faded away and seemed the most unimportant thing in the world right now.

Trying to find a way to process this all Reese had to look away but as she was standing right in front of him her eyes eventually fell on his bare chest. It was only then that she noticed all the marks than ran over his skin. “Oh my God…” she whispered, reaching out to softly run shaky fingers over the skin right besides one of the clearest marks. Tears started to fill her eyes when it started to slowly sink in what must have happened to him.

With one small step Reese closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around Graham in a big hug.. “I’m so sorry Gray…we’ll figure this out. We’ll fix it somehow.” Which was ofcourse impossible, something Reese knew, but it was something she was denying right now. They had to be able to fix this. They just had to. “What happened? When…who…?” she wanted to know it all. She wanted to know exactly was responsible so she could kill the bastard for doing this to her brother

[Graham Kerr]

He had hoped for this, but he hadn't expected it. After all, he'd been an asshole, and no matter what, it didn't make this right. He shouldn't have avoided her. He should've gone straight towards her and told her, no matter how shaken up he was. When she hugged him, he hugged her back carefully, making sure not to hurt her.

Gray hated how careful he had to be now. If she hadn't been his best friend, his sister, he would have stayed away from her in the future too, making sure that she would never be physically hurt by him. She was strong enough to handle the mental pain, but what if he bit her? He was still worried about these things, but right now it didn't matter. She mattered more and she was here, staying with him. Wanting to help him through it. That was all that mattered, it was why he was here and not somewhere else. They needed each other.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry honey" He whispered it against her skin, pressing a tiny kiss against her cheek as he held her carefully to him. "I wanted to tell you, so badly, but I was so scared...I needed some time away so I was sure I could control it. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. I know I've been hurting you now, but I mean..you know what I mean."

She asked who'd done it, and he fell silent. No matter how much part of him hated Nate for doing this to him, they were connected now, and he needed him just as much as he needed the small brunette in front of him. "I...can't tell you that. I need him safe, no matter how tough that is to accept. I'm connected to him now."

[Reese Mackenzie]

Reese couldn’t believe this. Not a werewolf. Not her Graham. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happing. And yet it was. She knew Graham wouldn’t lie to her and the marks on his body were proof enough. It just seemed so…unreal. As if this was all a bad dream or a bad horror movie she was captured in. These things were supposed to happen to other people. Not to the people you loved and cared for. In the long run Reese would still lover her brother. That he was different now didn’t make a difference to her nor made caused it her to be afraid of him.

This was after all Graham.

Usually it made her feel better to feel his big arms around her but today it didn’t. A hug couldn’t fix this nor was it his place to comfort her. She was supposed to comfort him which was why Reese was holding back on the water works. The confusion still lingered in her mind and she needed a moment to let it sink in. This wasn’t a joke. This was really happening wasn’t it?

Reese kept her cheek pressed against his chest as he kissed the other side of her face. “It’s okay…” she finally softly said. “I understand.” Which she did even though it didn’t make her feel better at all right now. “You needed space, I get that.” Although he could have just said he needed space. Then again, it wasn’t the time and place to get into that right now. That was nothing considered to the news he had turned into a puppy!

Holy Crap.

“How are you feeling? I mean…actually, I don’t know what I mean. Just tell me about it…please?” She couldn’t even start to imagine how he was feeling. Nor what kind of horror it must have been for him to be attacked by a werewolf. Reese wanted to know. One of the people she loved the most was hurt and that didn’t go well with her. Not at all.

She honestly expected for him to tell her who it was. Graham wasn’t one to hide a lot of stuff from her. He never had before, besides the little secrets everyone had. But when Graham simply said he couldn’t tell her, Reese took a step back which broke off the hug. “Excuse me? What do you mean you can’t tell me?!” Wait, what?! He knew who had done it but didn’t want to share that little piece of vital information? Her dark brown eyes narrowed and once again locked on his. “You need him safe?” Alright, so it was a guy. That narrowed it down by half the castle. If it actually was someone who lived in the castle that is.

“Graham look what that thing did to you! How can you protect it when you could have been killed!” Disbelief was present in her voice and Reese folded her arms in front of her chest, feeling her anger flare right back up again.

Unbelievable.

[Graham Kerr]

Reese was scary when she got like this, all up in his face and angry. Not just for all the normal reasons, but also because a part of him felt threatened, and threatened werewolf didn't mean many good things. Gray ran fingers through his hair, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Stop. I know it's hard...but you need to stop before you make me lose it...I'm not that good at controlling myself just yet" He chewed on his bottom lip, taking a few deep breaths through his mouth, as smelling her seemed to make things harder instead of easier.

"We're connected. Him and me. I know that he almost killed me but he didn't mean to...he feels awful about it. And as for me..at least there's someone who knows. Who understands what it's like. I need that or I'm going to lose my mind, Mack." His voice was soft and pleading, eyes fearful as he looked at her. This wasn't easy. It wasn't just something he could accept, deal with and get over, like losing a friend or having his heart broken. This was permanent. "So I need him safe. When he's feeling bad things, I feel them too. It's this weird wolfie thing, I can sense his emotions if they're strong enough." Which was partly why he'd avoided Reese too, since smelling her perfume and feeling butterflies really wasn't something he was keen on.

Unclenching his fingers on her shoulder, he brushed them through her hair softly, trying his hardest not to hurt her since he didn't know his strength these days. "So please..don't make this harder than it has to be. It's killing me...staying away from people that I love. I'm taking the risk with you but I ain't doing it with anyone else...I'm not going anywhere near Mickey or I might end up hurting him too."