Kissaphobic [Mickey]

[Mickey McKey]

He didn't want this to stop, didn't ever want to leave Gray's arms, but he just couldn't stop himself from worrying, even while his body shuddered at the delight of the other's touch. At any other time, he'd be begging himself to try and see some sense, or to try and see the negative side of what he was doing. Now, he wished he could block it out and just let himself go, assume everything would be alright. But how could it? For once, Mickey found it hard to be optimistic. The feeling in his stomach was growing into what he could now describe as a feeling of impending doom. He could tell that something would happen that would make him feel like he'd been torn apart. He was far too sensitive, and though he could tell everyone else otherwise, he couldn't lie to himself – he really liked Graham. That thought made him even more uncomfortable, and he let out a noise of complaint, squirming a little against the older man.

This needed to stop, he needed to get away. He couldn't get hurt, not like his head was telling him he would be. The problem was, Gray wasn't just tall – he was bloody strong too. There was no way Mickey couldn't get out of his grip, any efforts would be futile, and he started to panic when he realised that this meant there was no chance of stopping things if it came to it. And there was a dozen equally terrifying situations like that running through his head that led to things turning out bad for him. Before he knew it, his head was spinning and his eyes were tearing up. The small blonde managed to turn his head away from his team mate, breaking the contact between their lips. ”St-stop..Gray, please, get off me...” Even his voice was shaking, he even sounded like he was crying. It took Mickey a few seconds before he realised that he was, though he still couldn't figure out why for the life of him.

He wasn't sure whether his words had any affect on the older man or whether he'd suddenly found a burst of strength, but either way Mickey managed to squirm his way out from under Graham, and wasted no time in getting out of there. He wrapped his towel around him again, picked up his clothes and was out of the room quicker than lightning, deciding to deal with any questions about his half-nudity when and if he faced them.

[Graham Kerr]

It wasn't until the blonde pushed him away, until he heard his voice, that Gray realised what he was doing. And that, contrary to what he'd thought, Mickey didn't like it. At all. In fact, the smaller blonde was crying, and then he was gone, and Gray stood there with this sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd just...instead of having kissed someone, he'd just assaulted him. He'd just forced himself on someone that was supposed to like him. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so BLIND?

What on earth was he supposed to do? Part of Gray wanted to run after him, apologize, but he didn't want to scare Mickey any further, and charging after him like some crazy person definitely didn't seem like the right thing to do.

Standing there, he ran fingers through his hair, noticing that his hands were shaking. How could he trust himself? How could Mickey trust him? How could anyone, for that matter? He'd just...and he hadn't even noticed. He hadn't meant to hurt him, hadn't meant to push his boundaries and yet he had. He'd made him cry. Fuck.

The blonde stood there for a good ten minutes, shivering in the cold october air, before finally marching himself into the shower. He'd figure this out later, apologize to him, and then stay the hell away.